Warm evenings by the fire, game night with family, and football are all a part of Thanksgiving festivities. For some, however, Thanksgiving may represent torn relationships or the loss of a loved one. Holidays are often the hardest time of year because they represent so much heartache.
In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. – 1 Thessalonians 5:18
When you feel like your world is crumbling around you, this verse might feel like a harsh rebuke. Loss of a job, or home, is tragic. During the holidays, some of us are dealing with a lost relationship. And having gratitude through it feels impossible. For those who want to be spiritual, but feel that this is impossible, this can lead to feelings of doubt and inadequacy. Is the problem with us or with our understanding of what God is asking of us?
But godliness with contentment is great gain, 1 Timothy 6:6
Gratefulness is hard when it is contingent upon things that are impermanent. Typically, we tend to be thankful for the physical things that surround us. When those things are lost, we also lose our gratitude. The problem is that we live in a world that offers the illusion of permanence. A doctor always has a pill to fix it; the government always has a program for it, etc. The answer is to learn to place our hope in things that are permanent, God, salvation, spirituality, and heaven. Those things can’t be taken from you. So when I inevitably lose impermanent things, my sense of self is still intact.
Re-frame Losses
Another tool is re-framing losses so that they are net positives. Rather than dwelling on the absence of a loved one, I can use those painful times to reminisce over memories I have of them. Another aspect of permanence is memory. I will always have those moments to replay and bring me joy. That is the definition of gratitude. Bethany shared this post about how she has worked to maintain gratitude. https://mustardtrees.com/2024/11/05/grateful/
To be mindfully content is hard work, but the payoff is worth it. Brain imaging studies show that practicing gratitude activates the prefrontal cortex and regions associated with reward processing (Glenn Fox, Front. Psychol., 29 September 2015, Sec. Emotion Science). You enhance feelings of contentment and social bonding.
Gratitude is an interesting tool that can be used to counterbalance feelings of worry and anxiety. We can actually use gratitude to reframe negative feelings and replace them with positive ones. Maintaining a grateful heart can impact your health. Generally grateful people experience better sleep, stronger immune function, and lower blood pressure.
The spiritual benefits combined with the emotional and physical benefits are certainly ‘great gain’.
I have been reminded of this recently. As a recovering alcoholic I find that, at this time of year, thankfulness and gratitude are often topics for discussion at AA meetings. Holidays can be difficult times for those who have lost a lot, regardless of what the cause is for that loss. But reminding ourselves to be thankful…even for the little things…is really key to contentment, sobriety and a positive outlook. Of course, Christ is the one who gives us the most reason to be thankful and grateful. I am finding, for myself right now, that praying for others and concentrating on loving and caring about others is very, very helpful. That is what God wants, of course, I know. But it is also a key element in living a life for Christ and not for self. I have struggled with nightmares and lack of sleep quite a bit this past year. I am finding that getting out of my “self” and focusing on others in positive ways is really key for my own mental/emotional/spiritual health. But most important, I am focusing on God and not self, which is what God wants of me, whether I am going through depression or not. Thank you for the article and reminder. 🙂
Good thoughts, Katie! I have found gratefulness to be incredibly helpful in enjoying life. I do think we need to be grateful for physical things but I liked how you talked about the importance of being thankful for what we hope for, for what we have through faith. Things that will not disappear.