I would never say that… or would I? Job’s wife!

“I  would never say that”has happened a few times off my lips. And then, there I go,
never, like I never have before. It’s quick words, meant well or not, and they come off the tongue faster than they can ever be stopped. And yet, I still say “I would never” say what came off Job’s wife’s tongue. We don’t have a name for her; we don’t know anything about her except that she is Job’s wife. She is best known for her famous statement, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.” But let’s dig a little deeper into the situation she found herself in and how something so cruel could come from her heart.

We know the story of Job. What happened to Job happened to her. Wealth, children, grandchildren, feasts, fun, Christmas Eve with everyone home- well, sorry, I got carried away a bit there, but you get it. Put yourself in her shoes. She was comfortable. She had a charge card, ate at the country club, and had lunch with the ladies every Tuesday. Then, it all hit the fan. We know of Job’s reaction, but really, from my heart, how would I react? How would I process grief of that magnitude? I buried one baby. One, not ten. I have lived off very little and eaten rice and beans, or rather spaghetti boiled in hot dog juice because I had no money, but it wasn’t like Job.  What would I think, suffering along with my husband, grieving in a culture where women were not valued? Did anyone come to comfort her? Did anyone bring her a hotdish? Where were the friends to come and sit with her, as they did with Job?

Often, we read the Bible and close the book at the end of the story. But what if that were me? What if that were my friend Denise? I’d be there in a heartbeat.

Job’s wife isn’t mentioned more than a passing comment twice, and we don’t know at the end of the book whether she has ten more kids. But it also says no women were as beautiful as Job’s daughters. Well, give Mama some credit, but no, we don’t have a clue. It is as if the link is missing, and life just moves on without her blessing of fortune again and beautiful daughters. It gives Job credit, which is also common in that culture, but it leaves me with more questions than answers.

As I think out loud, perhaps seeing him in such pain, eternity would be better than having to endure the pain he was going through.  Maybe she was afraid the illness, the boils, would be her calamity also, and wanted to stay away. Maybe, just maybe, she didn’t have anyone to vent to, and Job was lost to her in his misery; sometimes, when I don’t have time with friends,  things come out that I think I would “never” say.

We have the cross to cover those moments when our filters don’t catch things we should “never” say. We have forgiveness and the beauty of second chances, which we sometimes don’t give Job’s wife. In our self-righteousness, we think we would never say that.  If she could rewind the tape, she would probably see things differently and react differently. I know I have wished many times for the rewind button in my life. Sometimes, God and I are the only ones who know. Other times, it comes out as a blurting out for others to hear: the cruelty of words like Job’s wife’s.

Proverbs hadn’t been written yet, but it would have been a good one for her to hang over her fireplace. Proverbs 13:3: “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he  who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”  But another question I have is: did Job know his wife well enough to know her pain, her suffering, her loss, and her broken heart? Did he let it go? Did he think she meant it? Did he understand her intentions? We don’t know, and we won’t know. But we do know it is an excellent lesson for us. Look at both sides of the situation before we say what we will never do. Give yourself grace for the times you “never” and then “never”! But mostly, when someone else says something, be graceful, forgiving, and loving! Next time it could be you!