The Self-Disciplined Woman: Am I Keeping My Word?

the journey of a self-disciplined woman

I desire to be a self-disciplined woman. Schedules are wonderful, new planners make me happy, and a clean house brings me an insane amount of peace. And yet, I am not the Type A naturally organized person. Becoming a self-disciplined woman takes more inner strength than is shown by outward actions. 

Have you read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

I used to be the mouse. Or the moose in If You Give a Moose a Muffin or the pig in If You Give a Pig a Pancake. It went like this: The dishwasher needs to be unloaded every morning. You’d think a grown woman who’s been doing this for more than twenty years could follow through on this little thing.

While putting away the top rack I would find my favorite mug and remember that I haven’t had any coffee. I’d step across the kitchen to grind the coffee beans. Before I could grind the beans I’d remember that I hadn’t even had any water yet that morning. Somehow, don’t ask me how—I have no idea—I’d be in the bathroom starting a load of laundry. This could go on all day and night and I’d get a million things halfway done. Somewhere in between these daily chores I managed to prepare three solid meals, homeschool, and work on my author business. As you can imagine, I always felt like I was playing catch-up. 

If I let these poor habits control me, I’m as far from being a self-disciplined woman as I could be. 

Years ago, I knew I needed a change. I latched on to an oh-so-lofty ideal to become a disciplined woman. First off, what does that even mean? Disciplined, self-controlled, organized, a go-getter, better follow-through? At its heart, to be a self-disciplined woman is the ability to control your behavior. Easy-peasy. (Insert laugh track.) 

Controlling our own behavior is something we’ve been working on since birth. Sure I can dress myself, and I make my bed every morning. But do I still lose my temper and say rude things? Yes. As I become better in one area, the circumstances and temptations change. If I’m bold enough to ever say, “I’ve got it all figured out!” something is sure to knock me off track. 

Let’s look at this amazing truth from the New Testament: “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 

2 Timothy 1:7 NIV

God never said I had to do this on my own!

I may be naturally inclined to impulsive behavior, scattered thoughts, and acting on a whim, but God has given me a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. My default is toward sin and chaos, but I’ve been offered something better. Something only attainable with Jesus Christ.

When I embrace the basic truths that God is working for my good (Romans 8:28) and God is for me (Psalm 56:1 / Romans 8:31) it changes everything. He wants the best for me as I want the best for my children. These truths immediately remove my anxious feelings as I rush about my days. Then, I can look at what I must do to grow into a more self-disciplined woman. (Read this post about creating a Truth List.)

My first step on this journey of becoming a self-disciplined woman is to be a woman of my word. Can I control my tongue? Do I follow-through with what I’ve agreed to do? Have I over-committed by saying yes before thinking through what it may entail? If I say I’ll be somewhere, do I arrive on time? Can my friends depend on me? Do I tell my kids maybe when I should say no? Can I hold up my end of group projects? 

As you go through your week, I challenge you to really think about this: Am I a woman of my word? 

As I sort through the different compartments of my life, I ask if I’m keeping my word with the big and small areas. Have I become too distracted that I’m not fulfilling my promise to love, honor, and respect my husband? As a mother, do I follow through with promises that easily spill out of my mouth? When I say to my kids, “We’ll do this later,” I must honor that promise. I need to mean it. Set a time. Make it happen. Otherwise, I have made a liar of myself, and my children will quickly learn that they cannot depend on me. 

Remember that becoming a self-disciplined woman is only a worthwhile venture if we are disciplining ourselves to Jesus and His teaching. 

Back to the encouragement from 2 Timothy, after he tells us the kind of spirit we’ve been given, Paul says in verse eight: “So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord … but join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life.” (2 Timothy 1:8-9 NIV) I know that I am not living a holy life if I’m not a woman of my word. Becoming a self-disciplined woman (one who is in control of myself) and a disciple of Jesus, isn’t something I can do by myself. He’s offered us his power, His spirit. Let’s use it for His glory as we work toward becoming women of our word. 

tasha hackett

Tasha Hackett, author of Bluebird on the Prairie, a sweet historical romance set in 1879, Nebraska, earned her teacher’s degree from York University. Instead of analyzing Shakespear’s plays, she now homeschools her four children, with two bonus daycare babies on the side. Her husband does his best to navigate her many (many) impulsive ideas. Her favorite thing is family–they give her the kind of love people write books about. Learn more about Tasha and her work at


  1. Tasha, Thanks for your good thoughts! I am so thankful that we don’t have to be self-disciplined all on our own. So, so thankful for the Holy Spirit to work in me.
    Being someone who keeps there word is so very important. We lose a little credibility every time we don’t and that isn’t a very good way to be an ambassador for Jesus Christ.

  2. I really appreciate this post. Sometimes I get caught up in the busyness to know my place. It prevents me from truly enjoying where God has me and receiving His blessings. I find it hard to say no but I need to more. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Carolyn Green Sheridan

    Thank you for your words of encouragement …. and reminder. I needed to hear that. I love calendars…but I am not anywhere near as self-disciplined as I should be…or want to be. I have been thinking about this anyway, recently…but your article here is, I hope, the catalyst I need to actually DO it. 🙂 THANK YOU.

  4. Pingback:Self-Discipline: The Power of a Single Focus - Mustard Trees

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